Its been about 4 years since I made a promise to my Mom, today I’m keeping that promise. She asked me to promise that I would write. She was dying and in the last stages of Alzheimer’s at the time. I know those who would say she wasn’t capable of communicating at that time but I spent entire days with her knowing that she was fighting for those few moments of clarity when she could say something, I never regretted one moment because we had some very deep conversations, limited to only a few words, but she managed to make herself clear.
Mom was my best friend. She understood that life was bigger than just her, that her most important job was being a mom. Given a choice between being involved in something or helping her children she always chose her children. She had opportunities to pursue things but chose us. As I watch the news today with reports of women who chose to leave their families in order to march somewhere I do not understand how they felt it was more important than being at home with their families. I can count on one hand the number of times mom left me with a babysitter and not use all of my fingers! Yes, it was a different time then, but I know that my kids can say the same thing. Somehow she knew that the best way to make an impact on the community and yes even the nation was to be at home making sure her children were raised by her. Making sure I knew her values and morals, making sure I knew how to be polite and respectful, making sure I felt loved and no matter how old children are, they always need to know that. It’s why she asked me to make that promise. She knew it’s what would get me through my grief. She knew it would give me a purpose.
Mom taught me to be kind. She taught me that by example. It’s perfect that I married a kind man who inspires me every day. I watch him help people reach for things at the grocery store, hold doors for people, and say something kind that makes them smile and it amazes me because he himself has every reason to be the opposite of kind. You see he is handicapped, he should be angry about it but he is not. He gets teased and made fun of and bullied and he keeps being kind. Why? Because he enjoys making someone’s day a little better.
There is so much hatred, criticism and negativity in the world, I will write about the kind things that one can do to make someone’s day with the hope of making an impact one kind act at a time, no matter what, be kind.
Mom, thanks for always being there and letting me know I was loved, and thanks for making me promise to write…